What makes me a runner?

I have a confession to make...the truth is, I’m not really a runner.

I’m not built for it. I don’t thrive on it. I don’t live for it. I’m not any good at it. And, truth be told, I kind of dread it. It takes a lot of preparation and discipline. It takes a lot of time. Other people think you're insane for being so dedicated. And, I'm really lazy!

So, why do I get up early on Saturday mornings to beat the heat and the traffic? Why do I spend inordinate amounts of money on shoes and clothes and accessories just for running (Timex Speed+Distance system is the coolest thing ever invented, even if it does make me a nerd)? Why do I shake my head violently when my podiatrist suggests that I try some other form of cardio? Why do I cringe when people say that I'm a "jogger"? Why don't I just give up?

Well, I think I'm trying to prove myself wrong... See, I started running on September 15, 2002. I couldn't make it around the quarter mile track. I didn't have a coach. And, other than my dad, I didn't really know anyone that ran much. I knew that this was just going to be a phase...I would run for a while, then get bored with it and go back to being a couch potato.

But I had decided that I was going to run a mile without stopping...that's four laps around the track and I could only run a half lap. I thought I was going to die! And that was in the "fall" (as though we have fall in south Texas), not the heat of the summer. I didn't really believe that I could ever do it. But I kept going to the track and running/walking, not sitting on the couch at home watching TV all day long.

After over two months, I worked up to a mile, then a mile and a half, then two miles. I had a system (I love a good system!). I would add a small amount of distance every time I went to the track. I had to stay there until I finished the distance. Since I'm such an impatient person, I wanted to get out of there as fast as possible, so adding running distance was quicker than adding walking distance. The cool thing at the track is that you can leave a bottle of water on the edge and stop every couple of miles to swig some and get refreshed. I finally worked my way up to six miles...that's 24 laps...and it was getting a little boring going around in circles so much.

One Saturday morning, I went to the track and there was a track meet going on...with people in the stands. As much as I like company, I didn't really want a crowd watching me run around the track 24 times! So, I immediately became a road runner. I mapped out my route and ran the whole six miles on the roads around my apartment. I had to make an adjustment, though. I had to start carrying a bottle of water with me...yikes! What was I going to do? Well, I just did it. I ran the whole six miles with a water bottle in my hand. I wasn't going to try to run without any water! Up until then, everything had to be perfect for me to run. If the batteries on my MP3 player were out, I'd go back home and get new batteries. If the right running clothes weren't clean, I wouldn't go until I had them clean to run in. That was the first day that I felt like I could manage any curve that was thrown my way and still run. I have run that route so many times! It's the best distance to run. A good challenge but I can get through it in a little more than an hour (or less on a good day!). So, I felt a little close to being a "runner" that day.

After two more years, here I am, 36 races later (including one on an airport runway and one that ended by running through a 30-foot puddle during a rain storm with 29 degree temperatures!), and I still feel like I'm a phony...

How can I, Jenny Ortis...who broke her glasses in seventh grade because she couldn't hit the volleyball and got hit in the face...who was tagged for the final out of the softball season by stepping on the softball because she didn't know that would count as "out"...who was ALWAYS picked last for the team in PE...who fell off the balance beam during gymnastics in seventh grade PE (not a good year for me)...how can I be a runner?

Because that's the thing...I can be a runner if I choose to be. Nobody else gets to tell me whether or not I'm a runner. I just have to put one foot in front of the other and I'm a runner. That's it...there's no magic, no technique, no picking teams. It's all up to me. Nobody else can do it for me. No amount of cheering or guilt can make me do it. I have to make the choice. So, since I have chosen to run, maybe I am a runner. I guess I've finally proven myself wrong.

Now, if I could just figure out how to cook rice...that seems to be more of a challenge for me!